


Escape

by SilberSaber



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Joker's funhouse, M/M, Takes place sometime after Season 4, gratuitous amounts of flashbacks, unhealthy relationship, we’re saying Jeremiah’s the Joker regardless of what happens in s5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-08-01 20:24:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16291160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilberSaber/pseuds/SilberSaber
Summary: After a brief confrontation with the Joker leaves him unconscious, Jim finds himself waking up in a large, underground maze.It’s not long before he discovers he isn’t alone.





	1. Grey Walls

**Author's Note:**

> I’m trying something a little different with this one. I had a couple different ideas for fics that didn’t seem to work on their own, so I decided to combine them into one story. This could either turn out fine or just become a huge mess...Let’s hope it’s the former!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta, all mistakes are mine.

 

 

The first thing Jim finds himself aware of is the smell. It wasn’t a bad smell necessarily. It was the scent of damp concrete, the kind you get the day after a rainstorm, when the sun beats down over the city’s sidewalks...But this isn’t one of those days, and there sure isn’t any sun shining wherever he is.

When he finally cracks his eyes open, he finds himself staring at polished grey slab of a concrete wall. The fluorescent lights shining overhead make him wince. His head hurts, and it isn’t just from lying against the hard cement floor for who knows how long. He raises his hand up to is forehead, and sure enough, there’s a large welt on his skull from where he’d been hit by one of the Joker’s cronies.

They’d gotten an anonymous call about Joker’s whereabouts. Apparently someone had seen a pale man walking around an abandoned factory near the wharf, a pair of hyenas following him on leashes. They’d sent two cops over to investigate, and when neither of them came back, they’d decided to send out the task force. He’d gone along as well, Joker probably knew he would, was probably counting on it. He supposes now that the lead had been some kind of a trap, but for what end goal, he couldn’t say.

Pushing himself up, he realizes he’s been laying in the middle of a long hallway, the only other features being the metal lamps hanging overhead. Aside from the gentle hum of electricity pulsing through the wires, there’s no sound. It’s quiet enough that he can almost hear his heart beating in his chest. That combined with the unreasonably large space leads Jim to realize that he’s probably deep underground.

The walls and floor are obscenely clean, so it had to have been made recently. A new structure of that size would be hard not to notice. If he’s somewhere in the city, his men may already be on their way, but he knows Joker’s smarter than that. It’ll probably take them days to figure out what empty corner of wilderness he’s been holed away to. It does him little good to sit around waiting until something worse happens.

He stands up and starts making his way down the hallway. As he expected, he reaches the end only to be met with another corridor that leads into two additional directions.

He sighs. It’s been awhile since he’s had to find his way out of one of these mazes, something he never finds himself missing.

He takes his time learning the halls. He’s able to find small markers over the first few tries, slight imperfections in the stone, lights that flicker in a certain pattern. He’s not sure how long he’s been awake now, but he can only hope he makes it through this quickly.

As he walks further into the labyrinth, he can’t help but notice that something feels...off. The halls are too empty. It’s not like the Joker to leave him without some sort of booby trap, and every so often, he’s sure that there’s echoes he shouldn’t be hearing. The longer he walks through the maze, the more the feeling grows on him.

The sudden realization that someone could very well be following him stops him dead in his tracks. He hadn’t considered that Joker might trap him down here with someone (or something) else.

He waits, listening for anything that might indicate there’s another living being down here with him. There’s no footsteps, not even the scurrying of rats across the floor. Another minute passes him by, nothing happens. Complete desolation.

Maybe he’s just going crazy, the roar of emptiness humming through his brain and driving him into a frenzy. He desperately hopes that’s the case, but after years of working as a detective, he’s learned never to drop his suspicion without proving there’s nothing there. He needs to know for certain that he’s alone before he can continue his path.

He starts walking again, keeping a steady pace for a full minute before he decides to make his move. He forces his senses to ignore the immediate sounds, focusing his attentions to the echoes on the walls as he shuffles to an abrupt halt.

There it is. A small misstep, the soft thud of a socked foot hitting the ground somewhere behind him. It isn’t just his mind playing tricks. There’s someone else here, someone that doesn’t want him to know he has company.

Whoever’s following him must have realized they’ve been caught, because no sooner than he hears that sound is it followed by the distinct rustling of someone running away from him.

His hand instinctively reaches to his holster, and to his surprise, his gun is saddled right at his hip. He would have thought Joker would have taken it from him when he was knocked out, it’s the first time since he’s been down here that he’s noticed it’s there.

He pulls his gun out and runs after his hidden companion. He does his best to keep up with them, but the sound echoes off from all directions. Some hallways make it seem that they’re just around the corner, others place them far ahead. It isn’t until a few minutes into his pursuit that he finds an opening. The familiar flickering of the light above him reminds him of where he is. This particular hall runs in a loop, and if they were to continue down the path, they would have to circle back this way eventually.

He stops, hiding behind the wall and waiting quietly. He gets a few moments for his breathing settle as he listens for the footsteps to return. Sure enough, a few minutes later he hears the padding of feet and heavy breathing approaching him.

He readies his gun, waiting until they’re just ready to round the corner, and then...

Thwack!

“Ow!”

That’s a voice Jim recognizes, as is the flash of the green tuxedo the man is wearing. He gets better look as the man falls back against the opposite wall in surprise, confirming his suspicions.

“Ed?!”

“Jim?! What the hell are you doing here,” Ed demands, clutching his hand to the side of his face where Jim had hit him with the butt of his pistol.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” He keeps his gun pointed, though by the looks of it, Ed has no intentions on attacking. “How did you get here?”

“I don’t know, I just woke up in this place an hour ago.” Ed drops a pair of derbys he’d been holding and slips them onto his feet. “I got a letter from Oswald telling me to meet him outside one of his old warehouses, but when I got there, someone gassed me. Would you put that thing away,” he adds, addressing the gun pointed at his chest.

Jim ignores the request. “This isn’t any of Penguin’s doing. We’re in one of Joker’s mazes.”

Ed rolls his eye. “Well yes, I suppose that’s rather obvious _now_. He probably told Oswald to send the letter too. After all these years, he’s still never learned to just say no to that man, the little wuss.”

“Why should I believe you? How do I know the two of you aren’t in this together?”

“Me? In cahoots with that clown?” Ed’s face pinches in disgust. “Puzzles are supposed to be _my_ thing. They’re meant to be convoluted and thought provoking, and he’s taken that and made a mockery of it.”

“Is that so?” Jim stows his gun back into its holster. “I would have thought the two of you would hit it off.”

“I’d never stoop so low as to conspire with that thief. That putz has been trying to steal my thunder for years.”

“I wouldn’t say there was much for him to steal.”

It seems that Ed isn’t in one of his more playful moods as he shoots a glare at Jim. “I still have my knife you know,” he says, keeping his voice low and threatening.

Jim crosses his arms in defiance. “So?”

“ _So_ I would try not to get on my bad side right now,” he hisses. “I’ve had a rather aggravating day, and I don’t think I could be held accountable if you happened to have a few holes in your chest.”

“Threaten me all you want, Ed, you won’t do anything.”

Ed smirks at the challenge, pulling his knife out from his coat pocket and taking a step closer. “You’re so sure of that, are you?”

Jim takes a step closer himself, so that they’re both staring each other dead in the eyes.

“We both know that if he put both of us here together, there’s a reason for it. You’re not doing anything until you find out what that is.”

He notices Ed’s jaw lock, unable to deny the truth to their situation. If the Joker had them trapped together, it was because he had something planned for the two them. Maybe he just wanted them to go at each other, something they would both willingly agree to, or maybe there was something more to it.

Neither of them could know what lies ahead, and it does them no good to waste their time squabbling. There would come a time when they could really sort out their mess, but for now...

They’d have to work together.

“Fine then. No stabbing.” Ed pockets his knife. “How much of the area have you covered?”

“I started back down that hall,” Jim says pointing down the corridor. “Then I worked my way up to where we were.”

“...And there was nothing down that way?” Jim shakes his head. “That’s not too surprising, you wouldn’t put the exit right where you started. So that covers the south side, and I came in from the east. We’ll head north first, then try the west side.”

“How do you know which way is north?”

“I don’t, that’s just how I assigned the direction.” Ed gives him a look. “Honestly, how do you expect to get out of here without any sense of direction?”

 _This is going to be long, few hours,_ Jim thinks. “I guess we’re heading back this way then,” he says, walking back the direction they came from.

“Is that tiredness I’m hearing detective,” Ed chides. “Well, you’re lucky I’m here to be of assistance. I know every trick in the book to making a maze. I reckon we’ll be out of here in time for dinner.”

 

 

 

“How big is this goddamn place,” Ed whines. Normally, Jim would accuse him of exaggerating, but for once, the feeling is mutual.

They’ve been walking the halls for what must be hours now, and the end is still nowhere in sight. It’s not so much that they’re stuck. With the two of them searching together, they’ve managed to explore every nook and corner in a more than reasonable time, rarely running into any dead ends that could slow them down. It seems, however, that whatever plot of land Joker had acquired for this was unreasonably larger than either of them had anticipated.

“Let’s stop for a moment,” Jim sighs. Between his aching muscles and growling stomach, most of his energy is beyond spent. Ed’s none the worse as he falls back against the wall, groaning as he slides down to the floor.

“If I only had as much time and money to work on my puzzles,” Ed huffs.

“Have we at least finished the north side yet?”

“Have we finished it? We passed that whole section three hours ago. We’re at the north-western part of the farthest south side we’ve been to yet.”

Jim furrows his brows. “What?”

Ed sighs, waving him off. “You know what, let’s just forget the whole direction thing. It hasn’t really turned out as planned.”

 _I see nothing’s changed then,_ Jim thinks to himself. As they rest, Jim takes a better look at the man sitting across from him. It’s been awhile since they’d been face to face with one another. Not much has changed since then, although right now there’s a big bruise that’s begun to bloom against Ed’s cheek from where Jim hit him.

For a split moment, the darker part of Jim’s mind tells him that he could do better, that he could bloody his entire face right now, and no one would know any wiser.

...But that’s just for a moment.

“Let’s start walking again.”

They push themselves up, already missing the comfort of the concrete floors. As they restart their trek, Ed’s stomach gives a particularly loud rumble.

“I swear, when I get out of here, I’m going to hang Joker up by his feet and starve him for a week.”

“You have any idea of why he wants you here in the first place?”

“Not at all,” Ed answers too quickly. Jim gives him a look that makes him shift his gaze away. After a few moments, he shrugs. “I may or may not have knicked a few things from his hideout a few months ago,” he admits. “...But, they weren’t his to begin with. I’d been using that place as one of my camps before his crew took it over.”

“You didn’t think to just ask him to give them to you?”

“Are you serious? You really think us villains are all a bunch of friends that hang out and help each other? I figured he’d care less if I left him be and grabbed my stuff. It wasn’t like I was taking any of his things.”

Jim considers the excuse. “No, you’re right. Even by Joker’s standards, that doesn’t sound serious enough to put you down here...And there haven’t been any other traps along the way. Maybe he isn’t punishing us for anything. Maybe this is just part of some bigger plot he’s working on.”

Ed smiles. “Look at us, coming up with theories like we’re back at the station. We haven’t talked this much since our little meeting at the park.”

Jim grabs his shoulder, spinning him around to face him.

“Y’know what, now that you’ve mentioned it…You mind explaining what the hell that was about?”

Ed swallows against Jim’s glare. Their ‘little meeting’, as Ed put it, had been less of a friendly chat and more along the lines of near-fatal hostage situation involving Jim’s then six-year old daughter. The bomb that was tied to her hands wasn’t meant to go off, at least that’s what Ed claimed at his trial following the incident, but like many of Ed’s plans, things didn’t always go as he thought they would. If Batman hadn’t been there just a few moments earlier, Barbara would have lost her arms, if not her life.

By the end of it, no one had gotten injured, a feat in itself for one Ed’s schemes. Barbara was a brave girl, and Ed hadn’t been the first or last person with the idea to threaten the daughter of Gotham’s chief of police. She’d gotten out of it well enough, but that didn’t mean Jim couldn’t be mad about it.

In the span of a few seconds, Ed manages to hide the fear in his eyes with a smirk. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m just insane. That’s what you all say, isn’t it? I meant nothing personal by it.”

Jim narrows his eyes as Ed leans in closer.

“After all, how I supposed to know you’d care so much if poor Barbie got involved in my little scheme. It’s not like you’ve ever cared about anyone else that should have meant something to you.”

Jim doesn’t say anything. He knows exactly what Ed’s doing, goading him into doing something rash, something he’ll regret later. He’s not falling for it this time.

“Forget it. It’s not like I don’t know the real reason already.” He drops his hand from Ed’s shoulder, continuing down the hall. There’s a pause before Ed follows after him.

“You think you’ve got me all figured out,” Ed asks, his voice low and angry. “You probably said the same thing about Lee and look what happened there.”

Jim has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Talk about her all you want. We ended things years ago. There’s nothing left between us.”

“I think we can both agree that _she_ ended things with _you_. Although I can’t imagine how much you were giving her in the first place seeing how receptive she was when I-”

Ed barely manages to avoid running straight into Jim as the man turns to face him dead on.

“You want to know how I figured out why you do the things you do,” Jim asks, nearly backing Ed into the wall behind them. “It’s because you’re not a difficult man to understand. You’re an egotistical perfectionist, and you _are_ insane.” He takes delight in seeing Ed tense up at those words. “...But there’s one thing in particular that drives everything you do.”

“...And _what_ would that be,” Ed growls.

“You’re jealous, always have have been.”

Ed scoffs. “What’s there to be jealous of, Jim? Everyone you love is either dead or hates you.”

 _Pot-kettle_ , he thinks. “I still have the respect of the people around me. I have actual friends I can turn to.”

“Friends are such waste of time. You should have figured that out with Bullock when you had the chance.”

Jim grits his teeth. Harvey was still a sore spot for him, even after all the time that passed. If this was the game Ed wanted to play, Jim could put up a fight.

“No, you’re right. You’re not jealous of _me_. Making yourself into that person would be impossible for someone like you. Why waste your time trying to be like me, when you could just have me to yourself, right?”

It takes a moment for Ed to really hear what Jim’s saying. When he finally understands, his mouth drops open in disbelief.

“Oh, _please_ -”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“You know, Lee always used to say that all that attention you got at the station went to your head. I think I agree.”

“So you’re telling me it isn’t just a bit coincidental that you had your little ‘revelation’ just a few months after-“

“Contrary to what you like to think, you are not the only thing that’s happened in my life. To be honest, I haven’t even thought about it since your last visit to Arkham.”

“Bullshit. You’re an obsessive lunatic, you really think I’d believe that?”

“I believe I mentioned something earlier about not getting on my nerves right now.”

“Go on and get your knife out. It’s been a long time since I had an excuse to kick your ass.”

“So that’s it? You say we can’t kill each other one moment, and then a few honest words later you’re over it. Maybe you have the patience of a fruit fly, I on the other hand-”

“Wait, what is that,” Jim asks, looking past him.

Ed quirks a brow. “What are you a five year old? That’s not gonna work on me.”

Jim ignores the quip as he pushes past him. Down at the end of the hall is a feature they haven’t come across yet, an archway leading into another space.

Jogging to the end, Jim walks through the arch to find that it leads them into a large room. Despite being obviously different from the rest of the maze, there’s nothing special about the area. More importantly, there’s nothing appearing to be a way out.

A few seconds later, Ed follows Jim into the room. “What is-“

“ _Good evening, gentlemen._ ”

They both jump at the sudden voice booming throughout the room. The archway that they had entered through slams shut as a hidden doorway slides down, leaving them trapped in this space. Looking around, the Joker isn’t anywhere to be seen, nor are any of his henchmen. After a moment of waiting, Jim breaks the silence.

“Is that you Jeremiah,” he calls out.

" _Don’t bother trying to reason with me, this is a recording_ ,” the voice says. “ _The only way to trigger this audio is for both of your heat signatures to be present in this room at the same time. If you’re hearing this, it means the two of you have made it this far without killing each other. Bravo._ _Consider this your entry ticket into the real challenge. The gateway is hidden somewhere in this room, but if you wish to proceed, you must do something first._ ”

A light turns on to illuminate one of the walls on the far side of the room. As the two of them walk closer, they find a pair of single handcuffs attached to the bottom of the wall, with each cuff spread just far enough apart that they wouldn’t be able to both lock in a single person.

“ _To break one lock, you must create another. One lock from each of you is all you need to progress. Lock the shackle and unlock the door. Remember, there is only one solution to my game._ ”

Jim examines the cuff closest to him. The chain leads into the wall by a small hole connecting it to the other side. One could only imagine what was connected at the other end of the chain.

“ _Also, you might not want to dilly dally._ ”

The audio clicks off, replaced by a loud hissing. The source is a pair of thick, purple clouds blowing in from vents on the ceiling.

So distracted is Jim by the gas filling the room, that just barely hears the sound of something clicking below him. He looks down to find the cuff locked around his ankle, with Ed scurrying back to the other side of the wall

“Hey!”

Ed ignores him, taking the other cuff and locking himself in. As soon as it clicks shut, there’s a low rumble as the wall begins moving up, opening into another corridor. At the far end of the hall is a brightly lit ‘ENTER’ sign hanging over a doorway.

As soon as the wall is gone, the two of them blast off towards the door. As they run, Jim looks down at the cuff around his angle. Following the chain, he discovers that the two cuffs are connected to one another, Ed having locked the two of them together.

It isn’t until his eyes reach the other end that he realizes that Ed’s made it a bit farther than him, just about the length of the chain.

“Ed!”

It’s already too late. One more stride is all it takes for the chain to pull too far and send the both of them tumbling to the ground.

Jim releases a grunt as his head slams down onto the cement, small flecks dancing across his vision. He doesn’t have much time to recuperate when his vision is filled with purple smoke descending on him.

He tries to push himself up, but the fall has shaken his balance, and whatever concoction that’s filling the air is making the room spin. He stumbles back to the ground, his eyes filled with nothing but purple before everything goes black.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think~


	2. Floating Up - Sinking Down

 

 

_Ed keeps his eyes closed as he sits at the bottom of the pool. Were they open, he’d just get distracted and lose all of the progress he’d made._

_His chest has already started to hurt, but he knows he can go further. He hasn’t been counting the minutes, just like Dad said not to, nor has he been monitoring his breath. As long as he keeps himself calm, he’ll surely break his record today._

_A few moments later, and he decides it’s time. He pushes himself from the floor, floating up until he reaches the surface of the water. He breaks through, heaving as much air as his lungs allow as he wades back to the ledge._

_Once he finds a place to hold onto, he looks over to Dad, sitting in his fold out chair a few feet away. He places the newspaper he’s been reading to the side and looks at his watch._

_“Six minutes and twenty three seconds,” he says._

_Success!_

_Ed has to keep himself from cheering as he pulls himself out of the water and sits at the edge of the pool, wrapping the towel around his shoulders. Once he’s settled, he turns back to Dad to his approval._

_There isn’t any._

_“What’re you so smiley ‘bout?”_

_The smile drops from Ed’s face, he turns his gaze back to the water._

_“Last time I got five minutes and forty two seconds. That’s forty one seconds less.“_

_Dad sighs. “Tell me again, how long was Houdini submerged before he resurfaced?”_

_Ed tilts his head down into the towel. “Ninety minutes,” he mumbles in reply._

_“That’s right. Six and half minutes aint even a tenth of that, is it?”_

_“No. It’s a fourteenth.”_

_That earns him a smack to the head. “What did I tell you ‘bout trying to act all smart on me?”_

_“Sorry,” Ed grumbles, rubbing the sore spot._

_“Pool’s open for another hour. We’ll keep trying ‘til then.”_

_Ed muffles his groan with the towel. He’d been hoping to get home earlier so he could get started reading his new mystery novel, swiped from his school's library._

_Apparently it isn’t as quiet as he thought, because Dad turns to him and cocks a brow. “You gotta problem, with that, boy,” he asks in that voice that make Ed tense immediately._

_“No sir,” he answers quickly. “I was just thinking I should have waited to dry off.”_

_“Yeah you should have.” Dad narrows his eyes, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a smirk. “You thought you were doin’ pretty good, didn’t ya?”_

_Ed doesn’t answer. Dad shakes his head and opens his paper again._

_“Never celebrate mediocrity, kid,” he sneers. “When yer done bitchin’, get back in the water.”_

 

\- - - -

 

Jim isn’t familiar with this new chemical the Joker using. Seconds stretch as his body sluggishly tries to comprehend the cacophony of signals firing throughout him. One second the world fades to blackness and everything is numb, the next he’s back in Joker’s prison surrounded by purple fog.

It’s in one of these moments that he vaguely feels someone pulling at him, forcing him to stand. He doesn’t have any strength to do it himself, which becomes evident as his body leans on the other as they drag him away.

Suddenly there’s a pressure over his mouth and nose and he discovers he can no longer breath. With nothing but delirious instinct to drive him, he tries to pry at the hand covering his face, but to no avail. There’s nothing more he can do as the room moves around him, stretching and thinning as the clouds move around them.

...But all is not lost, he soon realizes. The door leading to their exit is growing ever larger as they get closer and closer. One blink and there a few feet away, the next a few inches, and then…

The door slides open. The hand covering his face is ripped away as he’s pushed to the floor of the new room. He hears the bang of the door shutting behind them, and soon whatever violet whisps followed them through disappear.

He tries to catch his breath as he rides out the toxins. Once he manages find a steady pace, the waves begin to subside, the aching dizziness replaced with lights dancing around his eyes. He’s beginning to feel his sense returning to him before he’s met with a sharp slap to the face.

“Augh!”

“Are you done freaking out yet,” Ed asks, kneeling over him. When Jim doesn’t respond, he raises his hand again. He’s just about to swing down right as Jim catches his arm.

“Don’t do that again.”

Ed yanks his arm away, standing impatiently over him. “If you’re done having your episode, we need to get a move on.”

“Just give me a minute here,” Jim says as he pushes himself up and leans against the wall. “I need to recuperate from getting tripped by some looney that doesn’t know how to listen.”

“Hey, I got you out of there didn’t I? Besides, I’m not the one that couldn’t keep up.”

“Wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t locked us together,” Jim snaps back.

“I’m sorry, you think I'm the one who doesn't know how to listen? Were you not paying attention when Joker said we had to cuff ourselves, or are you just too stupid to understand what he was saying?”

“You think you’re so smart, huh? Joker said you had to close the cuffs to unlock the door, he never said you had to close them on yourself.”

Ed scoffs. “You really think it'd be that easy? He probably installed some kind of heat censor to make sure we wouldn’t flake out.”

“Oh yeah?” Jim raises his ankle. “Show me where, Ed.”

Ed purses his lips as he looks at the cuff. “I’m not seeing one now, but I’m sure it’s there.”

“Uh huh.” Jim pushes himself up from the floor, taking his time to find his balance. He looks to the space laid before them, confused by what he finds. Rather than the winding wall they’d become accustomed to, they were standing in a single room with four ladders, each one leading up to a separate tunnel above.

“I guess this is the next step.” They walk over to the ladders, examining each one to find anything special between them.

“Has Joker made something like this before,” Ed asks.

“Never.” Looking up through the tunnel, there’s nothing but endless darkness. There aren’t any sounds or differences between the stale air of each pathway. “Well Ed, you like your puzzles. Which one should we pick?”

Ed takes a quick look between each of the ladders, before pointing out the one closest to him. “This one.”

“Why?”

“Does it make a difference? Just do it.”

He grabs onto the pegs, making his way up. The chain pulls against Jim’s ankle, forcing him to follow. He takes a deep breath has he grabs onto the ladder himself, pushing himself into the darkness above.

 

\- - - -

 

Despite the praise that is often given to him in Gotham’s press, Jim Gordon is not a perfect man.

There were many regrets that Jim had accumulated over the years. Moments passed when he regretted not shooting Oswald Cobblepot through the head, and many more when he regretted doing just that to Theo Galavan. He would spend entire nights lying awake in bed wishing he could go back and leave town with Lee one the many times she’d asked him to. Nothing would ever come from it.

Yet despite these regretful moments, by the end of his brooding, he knows that it was all for the greater good.

At least, most of it was.

Every man, no matter how honest, makes mistakes...And when it came to Ed, Jim decided he’d made a couple here and there.

The first mistake had been accepting Ed’s invitation to stay at his home.

It started back after the blowout when Oswald revealed that he was alive, sending a slew of vengeful gangsters after him and Barbara. They’d gotten out of it alive, but things had changed between them. After she left, staying at her apartment didn’t feel...right.

Harvey had openly refused to house him. Jim knew he only meant it as a joke, a little payback for getting him involved in his mess, but it still made finding a place for him to sleep a bit difficult.

He never figured out how Ed had learned of his new living situation, but no sooner than he had did he offer Jim a place to stay.

Jim had politely declined the offer. It wasn’t that he disliked Ed. Sure, he was a little odd at times, but he was also fantastic at his job, and no one could argue with his enthusiasm. If anything, Jim found the odd quirks rather endearing, much to Harvey’s dismay. The issue was that he’d known next to nothing about the guy. At the time, he’d only had a real conversation with Ed perhaps four times, and it was only ever about police business. He’d stop by every once in a while to drop a riddle, which Jim could answer more often than not, but there was never anything of substance in it.

In the end, he’d settled for spending his nights down at the station. They had a spare bed the men used to rest on during longer shifts, and the lockers had more than enough space for his personal belongings. It was a little difficult, but nothing he couldn’t live with. That is until the incident with Lovecraft had him packing his things once again.

He was in the middle of clearing his desk when Ed approached him again.

“I hear you’ve been thrown out and disgraced is this true?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I’m gonna write a letter to the boss,” he said, eyes full of determination.

“You do that,” Harvey chided from his own desk.

“Which boss should I write to?”

Jim had to keep himself from from laughing. He couldn’t say the man wasn’t earnest, even he was a bit simple. It was a touching gesture, and it gave him some hope in his situation. At least he wasn’t completely abandoning the GCPD to the grubby hands of criminals.

“Forget it, Ed. Press the breaks.” He held out his hand. “You take care.”

Ed grabbed onto the handshake, just before pulling him into what was probably the most awkward hug he’d ever experienced. It lasted no more than a second before Ed scurried off, head ducked away, leaving him bewildered.

“Maybe you should take him with you,” Harvey joked.

“You’d miss him if he was gone.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” he chuckled. As Jim finished collecting his things, Harvey held out his hand. “Let me buy you a drink sometime.”

“Soon,” Jim replied shaking the hand. He gave Harvey one last look as grabbed everything from his desk and headed towards the locker room.

As he opened his locker and saw the clothes and other personals he’d shoved in there, he realized that he didn’t have anywhere to go. He reached into his coat pocket, fingers brushing up against the apartment keys. He didn’t want to go back there, not yet at least, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

As if on cue, the sound of locker room door opening drew his attention. It was Ed, who stifled a gasp as he saw Jim standing there.

“You’re still here.”

“Yeah. I had a few things I was keeping here,” he explained. “If I’m in your way-”

“No no no, not at all. I w-was just coming here to...well, I thought you’d already-” He stammered to a halt, embarrassed, though for what Jim couldn’t say. After a moment, he chuckled nervously. “Do you need help carrying anything to your car, detective?”

“Uhh.” Jim looked back to his locker, deciding it would probably take him two trips to carry it all on his own.  “Sure, here.” He handed Ed his box of belongings as he pulled the rest of his things from the locker. Once they had everything, the two of them headed down to the garage, shoving everything into Jim’s trunk.

“Thanks Ed,” he said, slamming it shut. “I appreciate the help.”

“Where are you planning to keep all these things...if I may ask,” he added.

“Y’know, I’m not really sure yet.”

“Not in your car I hope.”

Jim shook his head. “I think I can find a hotel somewhere, at least until I find a new apartment.”

Ed hummed in agreement, although Jim couldn’t help but notice the way he was squirming. It was obvious he had something he wanted to say, and Jim had a pretty good guess at what it was.

“Is that offer to stay a night still open,” Jim asked with a small smile.

Ed’s face immediately brightened up at the suggestion, a wide grin stretched across his face. “Of course it is!”

It seemed like a good idea at the time. He needed a place to stay, and Ed was willing to provide that for him… But as Ed returned to the station to finish his last few hours of work, Jim couldn’t help but think that he should have just gone to a hotel. He couldn’t quite say what it was, but something didn’t feel right. It didn’t help that Ed happened to live in the most broken down building in the area. Once his shift ended, Ed directed Jim as they drove back to his apartment. They ended up at a small studio on Grundy, a grungy, old building with cold metal walls and creaking floors. When Ed pulled open his front door, Jim was greeted with the bright green of the neon sign hanging just outside the window.

“Woah,” Jim said, squinting against the bright flash. “That’s quite the view you got there.”

“Sorry about that. On the _bright_ side," Ed said with a smile,"...it does save me hundreds on lighting.”

“Yeah, I imagine it does.” He looked around the room, drawn in by the oddities strewn about. Most of the decorations looked like they were antiques, some dowdy and others more extravagant, like the circus lights pushed against the walls. It hadn’t crossed his mind what kind of place Ed would be living at, but he couldn’t say he was surprised.

His eyes landed on the metal bed just next to them.

“You only have one bed?”

“I have an air mattress in the closet I can sleep on.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to deprive you of your own bed,” Jim said, but Ed held up his hand.

“Detective, you are my guest, and you should have the bed,” he insisted.

Before Jim could argue otherwise, Ed retreated to the kitchen, looking through the cabinets. Jim shrugged, placing his things down on the bed which creaked under their weight. A few moments later, Ed returned. “Here you go,” he said, shoving a pair of keys into Jim’s hand.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the keys to my apartment.”

“Oh.”

“So that you can get in and out when I’m not here.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Just how long was he expecting him to stay?

“I haven’t had the chance to get groceries, so there’s not much in the way of food. I promise I’ll have something ready tomorrow, but take whatever you want for now.”

“You don’t have to do that, I can get-”

“I’d like to make dinner for you,” Ed said, cutting him off. It was a bit surprising, he wasn’t used to seeing him as anything other than timid. “If that’s alright with you.”

“Okay then, if I can’t change your mind,” he replied with a smile, hoping he wouldn’t let his discomfort show. It seemed to work as Ed turned back to the kitchen, muttering something under his breath.

The rest of that night continued with that same unease. He couldn’t shake the idea that going there was a mistake, even as Ed tried to break the tension with light conversation. When he finally made it to bed, his mind kept him awake with regret. It wasn’t until the steady blinking of green shining through the room lulled him to sleep that those nagging fears finally broke away.

 

 

 

It didn’t take long for that initial layer of dread to be scrubbed away. After his first few days at Arkham, returning to Ed’s apartment felt like a relief from the insanity. The patients weren’t even the worst of it, not when he had Director Lang lecturing him on his mistakes every five minutes.

Jim was stationed at Arkham every two days for seventy-two hour shifts, and by the time he was finished, the only thing he needed was a soft bed and some leisure time. Though he didn’t have cable, Ed had a number of video games that Jim could mess with when he wanted. Most times he would just watch Ed play, finding him to be far less spacey once he his mind was occupied with the game in front of him. It was a nice change to see him more comfortable in his own space, a pleasant contrast from the awkward loner he knew from work.

Staying there also meant he was never short on a good meal. Ed, as it turned out, was a damn good cook. On the nights Jim was there, Ed would take the opportunity to try out a new recipe he read up on.

At dinner, Ed would fill him in on the goings on at the station. He was surprisingly thorough in his recollection. Jim hadn’t realized just how present Ed was in other people’s conversations, although thinking back, it wasn’t hard to imagine lurking in the background and listening in. Sometimes he would tell him about a particularly interesting victim he’d worked on, or perhaps suggest a new theory to one of the cases being investigated. He even told him about his botched attempts at making friends with the station’s record keeper on a few occasions.

Overall, he found it rather enjoyable staying there, and Ed to be welcomed company. He was almost ashamed of himself for thinking the way he had on that first night. Having a detective’s intuition often kept him out of trouble, but sometimes he really wished he could turn it off. He knew he wasn’t completely at fault, Ed of course was a bit rusty on his social skills, but it still made him feel guilty.

“He’s really not that bad once you get to know him,” he said, sitting next to Harvey at the bar he’d picked for them.

“Well not all of us have the pleasure of being invited to the herb’s homebase,” Harvey said, sipping his beer. “What makes you so special anyhow? He’s never asked me to hang out with him.”

“Yeah, because we both know you’re such a welcoming, friendly guy,” Jim said with a smirk.

“I’m a goddamn delight!”

“Why don’t you ask him to hang with us if you’re so jealous?”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your little boy scout meetings. Besides, I’m pretty sure that he wants you all to himself.”

“I’m sure if you asked, he’d be more than willing to put up with you for a few hours.”

“No, there’s something else going on here,” Harvey said, scratching his chin. “He wants something from you, I can feel it. That’s how all those weirdo’s minds work.”

Jim scoffed. “Now you’re just being an asshole.”

“Mark my words, he’s going to ask you for something, and we both know your stupid honor can’t take the hit of refusing him.”

“Well maybe I’d want to give him something in return, ever think about that?”

“Call it whatever you like, but the sooner you realize when you’re getting played, the better off you’ll be.”

Jim said nothing more as he took a sip of his beer. It wasn’t that he had nothing to say. Harvey was right, Ed was trying to get something out of him, and he knew exactly what it was, even if Ed couldn’t say it himself.

Over the last few weeks, Jim had noticed how hard Ed was trying to keep him happy, practically begging him to stay. He’d think back to all those times Ed must have been waiting in the shadows, hoping he could have part of the conversation. He’d think about all those hours Ed kept to himself in the lab. It made him sad.

The truth was that Jim wanted to give Ed what he needed, because he knew that he wasn’t some twisted freak trying to play him. He was just a lonely man in desperate need of a friend, and that was something Jim was more than willing to give him.

 

 

 

It wasn’t much longer before Ed would indeed ask him for something, though he couldn’t say he was prepared for it.

It was the night Jim returned to the apartment with an update on his residency at Arkham. It wasn’t really a promotion, in fact he was certain his boss hated him too much to ever offer him advancement, but it was definitely something new.

He meant to tell Ed about it as soon as he got there, and he would have, had he not been greeted with heavenly scent of a well cooked meal as he walked through the door. Paired with a red wine Ed had stashed away in his cupboard, there was little Jim could do as they settled down in their seats.

As they ate, Ed recounted his day dealing with the station’s less than competent medical examiner. On the subject of terrible bosses, Jim had plenty to say himself on a certain chief of psychiatry.

“Why do you put up with it,” Ed asked as they were finishing their meal. “Why don’t you just quit and leave it all behind?”

“I could ask you the same thing. You’re always talking about Dr. Guerra and his latest blunders, and I never hear you looking for work elsewhere.”

“Maybe not, but not all of us have an army pension,” he countered.

Jim shook his head. “I’m not doing this for the money. I joined the army because I wanted to protect people, same reason I joined the academy. If protecting Gotham’s citizens means standing up against the system itself, then that’s what I’m going to do. I’m not giving up just because a few spineless crooks want me out.”

“I guess you have a point, though I’m still not sure spite is enough to make up for the nonsense you put up with.”

“C’mon Ed, you know how much Dr. Guerra must loathe you for being better at his job than he is. Don’t tell me it doesn’t take the edge off just a little bit.”

Ed didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t hide the small smile pulling at his mouth.

“You’re right though, I should probably leave this mess behind when I get the chance. Someday I’ll leave town, hopefully settle down, maybe have some kids.”

“Same here,” Ed said taking a sip of the wine. Jim gave him an odd look.

“Is that really what you want? Getting married and starting a family?”

Ed paused for a moment. “Shouldn’t I want that?”

“Not necessarily. I mean sure, it sounds like a nice life to me, but you don’t really strike me as the type.”

Ed tensed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing bad,” Jim insisted, realizing he must have offended him. “It’s just that the whole settling down thing is pretty cut and dry. I always thought you were a bit more creative than to want something so straightforward.”

“Oh…” He snickered, looking away as a light pink colored his face. “I never really thought about it like that.”

“Being different isn’t a bad thing. I know Harvey and the guys give you a hard time, but you don’t have to try to act like you’re someone else just for their approval.”

“Don’t worry I’m definitely not after _their_ approval,” Ed glowered. He fiddled with his fork, pursing his lips in thought. “If I really had to think about it...I’ve never really wanted a big family. Honestly, I’ve never cared much for having friends either. If anything, I’d just want to find that one person that I could spend the rest of my life with, someone that actually wanted to be around me and didn’t write me off as a weirdo.”

“Someone like me?”

He’d meant it as a joke, a bit of cockiness brought out from the drink. He hadn’t expected Ed to be so blunt.

“Yes.”

The admission took him off guard for a moment, but he laughed it off. “Nah, you wouldn’t want to put up with me. I can be a real pain in the ass.”

“On the contrary, I wish I had more time to figure you out. I mean, look at you right now. How _do_ you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make yourself so comfortable to be around?” Jim chuckled at the question. “I’m serious. I haven’t talked about myself this much since...ever.”

“Well you’re always working down in the basement. How often do you even get the chance to talk to anyone?”

“It’s not just that. I’ve never wanted to talk about myself as much as I do when you’re around. It’s something you bring out of people. You’re just so...likable.”

“Well I appreciate the sentiment, but I’d say there’s a lot of people back at the station that would disagree.”

“They’re idiots, all if them,” Ed snapped. “I know that you try to see the good in people, but I’ve been working there for years now. I know who all those people really are. They’ll never understand how truly brilliant you are. You have what it takes to fix what’s wrong with this rotten town, and all they want is to watch you fall. You know that you’re better than the rest of them. Don’t you ever wish someone else could see it too?”

It was by that point that Jim realized that he wasn’t being funny. Working as a detective, you need to be able to read signs, as subtle as they may be. In Ed’s case, the signs were huge, flashing, and otherwise unavoidable. The way Ed had shifted his seat closer to him without him noticing, the way he was staring at him. It was suddenly, very clear what Ed wanted, and now he wasn’t so sure he would be able to indulge him.

“I think we’re both after the same thing you and I, and I think we can help each other out.”

Jim knew how this conversation should have gone. He should have told Ed that they hardly knew one another, and that he wouldn’t like what he was getting into. He should have told him about what happened between Barbara and himself, that he wasn’t ready to move on from that just yet. He should have told him that he couldn’t be the person Ed wanted him to be, even if he tried.

Yet in that moment, he couldn’t find himself having saying any of those things. In the short time that he’d been in Gotham, all he’d manage to do was disappoint everyone around him. They wanted him to follow the corrupt system they’d set up for him, waiting to see him slip up and fall into line with the rest of the scumbags. In truth, it did feel good to have someone in this town see what he was trying to do for once. Perhaps it was the wine, or maybe it was the daily dosage of bullshit thrown at him from Director Lang, but at that moment, the offer Ed was giving him didn’t seem quite so bad.

So instead of telling him all of those things, he said nothing as Ed moved from his seat. He stood next to him as he waited for any sign that Jim would push him away. Maybe he should have. Maybe he shouldn’t have simply watched as Ed moved his legs around him. Jim could see the heavy flush on his face as he settled himself into his lap, abashed despite the confident fervor of his actions. His hands trembled as he placed them on Jim’s shoulders, even his voice was shaky.

“I’d like give you what you want, detective, if you’d let me.”

 

...

 

He shouldn’t have felt so guilty afterwards.

Yet there was little sleep for him that night as he laid in bed, under the steady green flashes of light, and Ed sleeping soundly just beside him. He wasn’t engrossed in the lull of ecstasy like he knew he should have been. Instead his mind screamed at him, scolding him for making such a terrible move.

Ed was the one that had initiated the whole thing between them, so it wasn’t as if Jim had taken advantage of him, but he couldn’t stave off the thoughts swirling in his mind that he wouldn't be giving Ed what he wanted. He would want them to make something out of this, but Jim knew that wasn’t going to happen. They’d done the deed, but there was nothing more behind it on Jim’s end. He couldn’t turn whatever had just happened into anything real, not with a good conscious behind it.

If he kept up the act that everything was alright, it would end in anger and heartbreak sooner or later, and that was the last thing he wanted to happen. Ed was a sweet kid, he didn’t deserve something like that.

The next morning, as he awoke from whatever rest his restless mind allotted him, he was met with the sound of sizzling from the stove. He pushed himself up against the headboard, barely catching a glimpse at the food before feeling the soft peck of lips against his cheek.

“Good morning,” Ed said as he nuzzled into his shoulder. “I made breakfast. It’s just eggs and sausage, but it should fill you up until lunch.”

“Right, thanks,” Jim said with the most sincerity he could muster. In his own ears it sounded as forced as it felt for him to say it, but Ed didn’t seem to notice as he pressed another kiss into his neck.

“I’m going to take a shower, care to join me," he giggled.

“Actually, I was going to do that once I got to Arkham. Boss wants me there earlier today."

Ed pouted, but quickly brushed it off with another kiss. “I’ll make it quick then, so I can see you off.”

“Uh huh.”

As Ed disappeared into the bathroom, Jim took a few minutes contemplating what he needed to do next. It didn’t feel like it was going to be any easier then than it had the night before. He couldn’t even bring himself to eat any of the food laid out on the table, a reminder of how badly Ed probably wanted this thing to work out between them. He could see how hard he was trying, and it only made it more difficult to do what he knew he had to.

He dressed himself in his uniform, gathering up the things he would need to take with him. He needed to tell Ed sooner than later, though he had hoped he would have had a bit more time to figure out what to say before Ed walked out of the bathroom, just as he was packing up.

“So I was thinking, they just opened a new exhibit at the museum. Maybe when you’re done with your next shift, we could…” The words trailed off as he saw the pile where Jim had collected his things. “What’re you doing with all this?”

Jim froze, trying to think of some excuse he could use to hold off this conversation. Then again, it was probably best if he got it out of the way quickly. Like ripping off a bandage, right?

“I was going to tell you yesterday. Lang doesn’t think I’m putting in enough hours, so they set me up with a place to stay at Arkham to reduce the commute time.”

“So...you’re living there now?”

“They want me moved in there by today, yes.”

“Okay.” Ed crossed his arms. “When would you be coming back?”

“I’m not quite sure yet. With the director keeping me busy, I don’t know how much free time I’ll have...And as long as I’m there, it wouldn’t make much sense driving back into town all the time.”

It was then that any hopes Jim had at making this painless were dashed as he saw the emotion draining out of Ed’s face.

“...Oh.”

Jim took a deep breath. No turning back now. If it was already out in the open, best get it over with quickly.

“Ed, I don’t want you taking this the wrong way. I had a great time, really. It’s just that there’s been so much happening, and I don’t know if I’ve been dealing with it properly. I’m just not sure that I’m ready to go that far just yet.”

Ed gave him a small smile. “I get it, Jim. We took things a bit farther last night, and you weren’t content with the outcome. I can try something else if you think you’d be more comfortable.”

“I wasn’t suggesting we try something different, actually. I was hoping maybe we could go back to what we were doing before...that.”

The smile dropped from his face again. “You mean...like back at the station?”

“Well, maybe not that far back. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you anymore. You’ve been such an amazing friend.” He didn’t miss the small twitch Ed made at that particular word. “I just don’t think _this_ could really work out between us.”

There was a moment, as Jim watched Ed process his words, that he felt the conversation heading into a nosedive. The small frown that pulled at his lips, the shine in his eyes that Jim caught when he blinked. If Ed had any vitriol in store for him, he was prepared to take it.

Instead, Ed straightened himself out with a long, steady breath.

“Right, gotcha. I understand completely.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yep, loud and clear, heh.”

He didn’t like that smile Ed gave him, a mask that looked like it was ready to crack. Still, it was better than tears, and if Ed said he was fine, he didn’t want to push any further.

“Thanks again for letting me stay here, it’s been a huge help. I’ll give you a call when I get some time off, perhaps we can meet up someplace, have a beer or-”

“Just tell me, was I taking it too fast for you?”

“...What?”

“I figured a few weeks would be a long enough time to wait, but maybe I was wrong. Or maybe I wasn’t very satisfying last night? I’m not very experienced in that area, but I’m up for trying new things if you want me to.”

“Last night was...” Jim cleared his throat. “You don’t need to worry about that, it’s just-”

“Whatever it is, I know I can do better. If you w-would let me show you...”

“It isn’t anything you did,” Jim sighed. “Look, Ed, you’re doing fine, I’m the one that hasn’t been going about this the right way. I could have told you last night that this wouldn’t happen, but I wasn’t thinking straight, and I screwed everything up. I know that you’re trying to find someone that can give you that connection you need, but I’m not that guy. I’m sure that person you’re looking for is out there, if you just keep looking-”

“Oh?” Ed scoffed in disbelief. “Tell me, who else besides you thinks I’m anything other than a pathetic loser? You’re the only person that could ever give me a real chance.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ed. I mean there’s plenty…” Great. First he pulled the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ card, and now it was ‘there are other fish in the sea’. Only two minutes into this conversation, and he already knew it wasn’t going well. “What about that record keeper you were talking about?”

“Miss Kringle?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. You said you thought she was pretty cute. Why don’t you ask her out sometime?”

“She doesn’t really, y’know, like me,” he chuckled, the most miserable laugh Jim had ever heard.

“She doesn’t _know_ you. Hell, most of the people at the station know nothing about you because you never talk to anyone. I’m sure if you had a few conversations with her, she’d come around some.”

Ed didn’t look convinced. Rather, he looked as though he had already succumbed to defeat as his eyes drifted away.

“I know that this isn’t what you wanted, and I know I shouldn’t have led you on like that...But I did mean it when I said you’ve been a great friend. Even if we’re not, y’know, intimate, that doesn’t mean we never have to see each other again. I like being with you, and I’d want to keep what we had going. I’ll even help introduce yourself to some of the guys, maybe find more people for you to talk to.”

He waited for any response Ed could give him, but nothing came of it.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ed sniffed, looking back to Jim with a hardened gaze. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary,” he said with an annoyed voice. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from your duties, anyhow.”

“Lang’s going to be on my ass regardless of whether I’m late or not. I can stay here a bit longer if you want to talk.”

“I’ll pass. I just need...time to think about everything.”

Jim cocked a brow. “You’re sure you don’t need me to stay?”

“Very,” he answered with a tight smile. “In fact, I think it’d be very nice if you weren’t here right now.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess you got a point. Sorry.” Jim picked up the rest of his things and headed towards the door, Ed following behind him at a slow pace. Once he was out the door, he turned back to give his goodbye. “I’ll see you again, right Ed?”

“Mmhm.” Ed moved to slide the door shut, but before he could close that gap, Jim caught it with his foot.

“I mean it, if you need to give me a call, I’ll be there.”

“...Yeah.”

A second later, and the door was shut in his face.

Jim sighed again as he walked over to the elevator. He couldn’t say he’d expected any better of an outcome. It would be awkward for a while, but then they could move past it and be friends again.

However, he further down the lift went, the less confident he was in that happening.

Jim had promised they’d see each other again, and he really had wanted them to stay friends, but something deep within him said that Ed wasn’t keen on taking up the offer.

As it turned out, his intuition was right as ever. Weeks later, when he’d made his way back to the GCPD, Ed wouldn’t approach him again. Not even work was important enough for them to cross paths. If Ed needed something, he’d do so with the utmost brevity, or better yet, get it done when Jim wasn’t there. He’d leave his desk for a minute, maybe to grab a snack from machine, and by the time he returned, the files would be waiting for him at his desk. It also meant that his daily dosage of riddles came to an end, something Harvey referred to as ‘sweet relief’.

He couldn’t say he blamed him, not all mistakes could be easily forgiven. So he let it be, hoping at the very least that Ed might be open to talking with other people, even if it was no longer counted among them.

Still, he couldn’t help but think Ed hadn’t given up on him just yet, especially when he noticed he never asked for his keys back.

 

 


	3. Don’t Look Back

 

 

In a small room, the fluorescent lights that dotted the halls of Joker’s maze had provided a dim but decent amount of light to see by. When climbing a tunnel up to who-knows-where, that light became as reliable as a candle in a rainstorm. Jim only has the cold feel of the bars and the metallic thud of his and Ed’s feet on the rungs to guide himself up the ladder as the darkness covers his eyes.

“How much further do we have?” He calls to Ed.

“Not much, there’s a light coming from maybe ten feet up.”

Though Jim can’t see anything past Ed’s figure above him, he does indeed find a faint light beginning to shine against the dark stone around them, barely visible against the pitch black. A few rungs later and he looks up to see Ed’s figure at the top of the ladder, peering over the edge.

“What do you see?”

“Nothing,” Ed replies in dismay. “It’s a room just like the last one.”

He pulls himself up, with Jim following behind. Looking around, it appears they have indeed found themselves in the same situation as before. Four ladders, all leading into into dark tunnels above them. There is one difference, he notices, at the opposite end of the room.

“What is that?”

They walk over to the pair of metal domes laying on the ground before them, crouching down to get a better look. Up close, it becomes clear what they are looking at. Plate coverings, accompanied by a small note.

_A reward for making it this far._

_Enjoy_

_~J_

They each pull one of the lids away, examining the food left for them.

“Sandwiches?” Ed frowns picking it up from his plate. “That’s it? He has the money, you’d think he could afford to give us something better than this.” He lifts it to his face, but Jim stops his hand.

“Hang on. We don’t know if he’s done something to them.”

Ed shakes his head. “I doubt it. He isn’t feeding us out of kindness. We can’t play his game if we’re too weak from hunger, and especially not if we’re poisoned.” He sniffs the sandwich, grimacing. “Ugh, tuna with sweet pickle. What’ve you got?”

Jim looks over the contents in his hands. “Turkey and swiss.”

“Ooh, give me that one,” Ed demands, licking his lips.

Jim makes sure he’s looking Ed dead in the eye as he takes the biggest bite he can get out of his sandwich, chewing it loud and slow.

Ed pouts. “Asshole.” He groans, before he begrudgingly takes a bite of his own.

Despite the plainness of their meal, it’s the much needed boost they’ve been missing. The cramping pains of Jim’s stomach begins to disappear with every chew, and the aching in his muscles slowly die down.

Unfortunately, a sandwich is never the most fulfilling meal. Jim starts wishing he hadn’t taken so much with that first bite, as he is once again absent of food after such short time. Even Ed’s plate is devoid of any crumbs after two minutes. With their meals decimated, there’s nothing left but to move on.

Jim stands with a groan. “Alright, which way?”

“My choice again? Well isn’t today my lucky day.” Ed looks between the ladders before choosing one on the far corner. “This one.”

They start up the ladder, and in similar fashion to the room it started in, the shaft was just as dark as the last.

“I wonder what awaits us in our next destination,” Ed muses some time into their ascent. “Not more tuna, I hope.”

“I’m sure it’s a nice cold beer waiting just for you, Ed.”

“I’d be fine with a mint, maybe a stick of gum. Anything to get this taste out of my-Ow!”

Jim stops as Ed comes to a halt. “What happened?”

“I hit my head.”

“On what?”

There’s a soft tapping as Ed rubs against something above them.

“There’s a ceiling. Why would he put a ladder if…” He trails off, his questions replaced by angry breaths.

“What is it?” Jim asks.

“It’s a vertical maze. We’re climbing a vertical maze and have hit a dead end.”

Jim’s eyes turn back towards the ground below, the distance seeming longer than it had been mere moments ago. “So we need to go back down then.”

“It appears so.”

They descend down the ladder again, finding themselves at a crossroads. With their task now fully realized, those other three pathways are more daunting than before.

“We’ll have to be more careful with which way we choose,” Ed says. “If we try every one of them, we’ll run what’s left of our energy to the ground.”

“Then how should we choose?” Jim asks looking up into the tunnel above, each equally dark as the others. “We can’t see anything from down here.”

Ed licks his lips in thought, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He examines the tunnel they’d climbed up from, looking down to the ground below.

“These ladders can’t be taller than, what, fifty feet? We should be able to see light from at least midway. If we don’t see anything from there, we’ll head back down.”

Jim nods. “Sounds like a plan.”

They move onto the next ladder, and after what feels like halfways up, they find again, another dead end. The third ladder proves more successful, as they do indeed find that ever dim light shining at the top. Unfortunately, the new room does not have any gum, nor mints, just another set of ladders waiting for them.

As they climb between the floors, Jim discovers that their guessing game isn’t the only challenge they face. In his younger days, this trek may have felt like a breeze, but as he nears his sixties, he lacks that youthful strength to keep himself going.

The ladders themselves are oddly constructed, with icy, metal rungs that are uncomfortable to hold, held to together by slippery, rubber-lined pipes. Each handle is placed at a farther distance from one another compared to most ladders, making the strain on his muscles all the more difficult. It’s as if they were designed specifically to wear them down. Even with Ed’s method of going halfway does little to relieve the tension in his arms.

They’ve successfully made to the fourth floor of this puzzle when Jim’s muscles have started jellifying against his bones.

“Are we halfway there yet?” He pants as they climb the most recent ladder of their ascent.

“Can you see the ground?”

“Barely,” Jim answers, looking down. “Do you see anything yet?”

“...I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean you’re not sure?”

“I think I can see light but...it’s so dim, I can’t say for certain.”

Jim sighs. “It’s probably just your eyes playing tricks in the dark. Let’s head back down-”

“Just hold on, let me focus.”

Jim does as he’s asked, resting against the bars. His arms aren’t the only things that are tired. His eyes blink slowly, and it’s the first time he realizes that he has no idea how much time has passed since he first woke up.

He can feel the beginnings of drifting off creep over him, when Ed’s voice interrupts his dozing.

“...Yes, I see something. This is the right way-”

All of a sudden, there’s a loud buzzing from above him. A shock hits him at the cuff hanging from his ankle, forcing him to grasp the ladder in pain. A bright light shines across the tunnel, making Jim squint as he looks up. He finds the source of the light, sparks flying from the wires connected at the ends of the pipe Ed is currently holding onto, shooting a steady current through the metal. In the flashes of light, Jim can see Ed’s body shaking as his hands grip tightly to the glowing rung. Underneath the whining buzz of electricity, he hears the mindless gibbering escaping Ed’s mouth. Whatever current is running through him has made its way to Jim via the chain linking them together.

Eventually the pain subsides as Ed’s hands slip off the bar and he drops away from the ladder. Jim only has a moment to react as Ed’s body falls past him, but it’s effectively used as he throws his arm out, pushing him against the adjacent wall.

There’s a harsh clinking of metal as something bangs against the rungs, perhaps the chain between them. The clattering is short lived, in the tunnel becomes still once more.

“Ed?” He wiggles the body under his hold. “Did you pass out?”

“N-no,” Ed twitches, his body spasming as he speaks.

“Okay, good.” His hold waivers, he doesn’t have much strength left to keep this angle going for long. “I’m going to have to let you go. When I do, you need to grab the bars as soon as you can. Got it?”

He feels the muscle of Ed’s chest flex beneath his arm, which he takes as a nod. He wraps his hand into Ed’s shirt, giving him a better control of the hold.

“One...two...three!” As he pulls his arm away, his hand forces Ed’s body to swing back towards the ladder. In less than a second, he hears the clamor of Ed slamming against the ladder. It seems that he’s managed to grab hold once again, but the fall just far enough that it pulls sharply on Jim’s leg. He grits his teeth at the sudden popping of joints at his ankle, a low grunt of pain passing his lips.

“J-jim?”

“I’m fine.” He looks up towards the top of the shaft. It’s very faint, but there is in fact a light glowing towards the exit. “Are you good to go?”

“Y-yes.”

“Good.” He starts his way up the ladder once more. As he approaches the tripped bar, the runs his hand over the sides, wrapping his fingers through the wires and pulling them out with a final spark of light.

 

\- - - -

 

_Unlike the majority of the children his age, Ed very much preferred the weekdays over the weekends. When he was younger, he hadn’t understood why the other kids detested it so much. Weekdays meant school, pizza at lunchtime, and afternoons filled with homework and the occasional book. What was there to hate about a day filled with learning and fun?_

_Now, at the age of nine, he’d found the reason for their loathing after eavesdropping on the conversations of his classmates. Their weekends consisted of going to the movies, playing video games, maybe hanging out with a friend or two. Some of them even spent their whole days in bed, sleeping in without a care in the world. For them, school only served as a place to keep them away from their boring hobbies, not the privilege Ed knew it was. They didn’t have parents that worked on weekends and always needed a helping hand. In fact, their parents never asked them for help with their work at all! Spoiled, silver-spoon brats they all were, that’s what Dad would say anyhow._

_On this particular Sunday, he finds himself tied up to a telephone pole right next to where their home is parked. Their midday show had been cancelled at last minute, an occasion he preferred to spend with a book in hand, but Dad decided to make use the extra time and teach him a new technique._

_“Remember to puff out your chest to make yourself big. Keep yer hands open too, that’ll make yer arm muscles thicker and create more tension.”_

_He does as he’s told, stretching himself out against the rope. Dad examines his stance, nodding in approval._

_“Now, the first thing you’ve gotta do is work them hands free. Use all the strength you’ve got and push against them with one slice. Once they’re out, you can untie the other ropes. Got it?”_

_He nods in affirmative, as Dad readies his stopwatch._

_“Three...two...one. Go!”_

_He pulls his arms away...or tries to at least. The ropes don’t even so much as budge. He looks to Dad for advice, but he just watches._

_“Do it again, faster!”_

_He tries it again, and again, and again. Even at the fastest he can go, the ropes are too strong for his wrists to pull against. With no other choice, he begins twisting his arms away, maybe to find a new grasp on the rope. His muscles arm beginning to cramp when Dad calls it off._

_“Stop, stop, stop. Yer gonna dislocate yer shoulders if y’keep that up.”_

_Ed stops, panting and leaning back against the pole to relax his arms. Dad examines the ropes, disappointed by the lack of progress made._

_“Well you sure ain’t makin’ any records today, kiddo,” he sighs, pocketing the watch. “I ain’t got all day for you to get it right. Cut yourself down, we’ll work on it some other time.”_

_He wiggles his fingers, grabbing onto the handle of the knife sticking from his back pocket. He turns it around, pressing it against the rope as he starts cutting through. Maybe it’s the heat making his hands slippery with sweat, or maybe it’s the awkward twist of his muscles, but for one reason or another, the knife falls from his grasp._

_He freezes as the metal clinks against the rocks below him, bouncing off beyond his reach._

_Dad’s brows pinch together in anger, as he peers behind the pole. “Did you just drop your knife?”_

_Ed doesn’t respond, too choked to speak as his breath stops in his chest._

_Dad tuts as he shakes his head. “Eddie, what have I always told you?”_

_“Always keep your knife with you,” he mumbles in reply._

_“...And why do I always say that, hm?”_

_“It’s ‘cause-”_

_“It’s so you don’t get stuck with stupid shit like this! What d’ya think’s gonna happen, you get stuck on a stage, and when try to cut yourself out, the knife slips from your hands? You think the audience is gonna help you? Hell fuckin’ no!”_

_“I’m sorry,” he whimpers, holding back tears._

_“What’re ya apologizin’ t’me for? I ain’t the one tied up to a pole.”_

_It’s then that Ed realizes with horror that his father is walking away, back towards their trailer._

_“W-wait-”_

_“No freebies, kid. You got yerself into this mess, now you gotta figure yer way out of them ropes on yer own.”_

_“Dad!”_

_It’s too late. Dad disappears into the trailer, and Ed is alone._

_There’s not much more he can do to better this predicament. The first thing that happens is that he cries from his own helplessness, in between bouts of wriggling his wrists against the rope. At times, he tries calling for Dad again, but he never comes. It isn’t until he hears the television from inside the camper, turned up to the highest level, that he decides to give up on that venture._

_With the sun beating down from above, and his body already parched from sweat, it does him no good to waste his tears. Once he’s done pitying himself, he focuses on the task set before him, and tries his hand at loosening the ropes again._

 

\- - - -

 

When Jim reaches the top of the shaft, he’s disappointed to find the same room as before, with yet another set of ladders waiting for them. As he walks through the level, his ankle twinges with every step, making him hiss in pain before he’s able to sit down on the concrete floor. The chain clinks as Ed pulls himself up behind him. In the light, Jim can see his hair is frazzled and his eyes wide from shock. That changes quickly, as they are soon filled with anger.

“Really?! Is this all the _Clown Prince_ is capable of? Stealing other people’s shticks?!”

“What’re you yelling about now?”

“Do you not see the blatant plagiarism happening here? First, he uses puzzles to test us, then he sets up a tripwire on the ladder for no reason other than to annoy us. All things that I have done long before he even knew how to build a simple bomb.”

“You didn’t invent electrocution, Ed.”

“No, but neither did he, and we both know that I am the original puzzle-master. Are you hearing me Valeska?!” He yells up to the ceiling. “I did it first!”

“...And yet you still fell for it,” Jim adds, giving him a look.

“I’m telling you, he’s doing it just to mess with me. I can feel it.” He crosses his arms as he murmurs to himself. As his hands rub over his jacket, his eyes widen. He pulls it open, looking into the inner pocket and seeing nothing. He pats over the pocket of his slacks, even unfolding them, with no success.

“What are you doing?” Jim asks.

When Ed looks up at him, his eyes are wide in horror. “I dropped my knife.”

“So what? Did you cut yourself when it fell?”

“No, but…I need to get my knife.”

“What?”

The chain pulls against his ankle as Ed returns to the shaft.

“Ed...Ed!”

Ed isn’t listening, already taking his first steps down the ladder. When the chain reaches its full length, he growls in frustration.

“Come on,” he demands, glaring at him over the ledge.

Jim sighs, scooting his way over as he joins Ed in his trip back to the last floor. Luckily, moving down the ladder is much easier than going up. Still, when Jim looks back up to that light above, he knows getting back there is going to be almost as difficult as before.

When they reach the bottom, the floor is  just as barren as before, no knife in sight.

“Where is it?” Ed asks aloud, frantically shifting around the space. “It should be right here.”

Jim shrugs. “Maybe it bounced to the other shaft?” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Ed makes a beeline to the next ladder down, but Jim grabs onto his arms and pushes him back. “Would you stop it?! We are not going all the way back down just so you can grab a knife.”

“Yes we are!”

“We’ve already spent too much time getting ourselves here. We don’t even know how much farther we have to go. We can’t be wasting our energy like this.”

“What does it matter? We’re not making it out of here anyways.”

“The hell’re you talking about?”

“Why did Joker bring us here, hm? Have you considered that maybe we’re meant to be trapped here forever?”

“Joker never makes these things without trying to prove something, you know that.”

“Well, perhaps he’s changed his mind. Perhaps none of these tunnels lead anywhere and we'll just die out. Except now, we’re going to die defenseless.”

By this point, any annoyance Jim had been feeling is gone, honestly worried by what he’s seeing. He’s never known Ed to be this defeated before.

“We’re not completely defenseless.” He draws his pistol, opening the cylinder. “Okay? Look I still have my gun, it’s fully loaded.”

Ed scoffs. “A gun? How’s that going to help us when we need something thin or...or if we need to cut something? Can you cut things with a gun, Jim?”

“I mean...yeah, sort of, if you shoot it the right way-”

Ed groans, his head falling into his hands as he slumps to the floor. “Oh, why should I even bother trying with you? You don’t understand.”

“No, apparently I don’t,” he murmurs under his breath. He squats down, resting himself against the wall next to Ed. “Listen. We’ve been going at this for a while, now. You’re obviously not thinking right-”

“I’m thinking perfectly fine, thank you very much!”

“Sure, whatever. The point is, we need to rest.”

“What we need is to is figure out what happened to my knife, you stupid fu-”

Ed’s rampage is quickly silenced by the hand clamped down over his mouth. His body stills under Jim’s hardened gaze.

“Calm down. You’re tired, I’m tired. Let’s stop here for now, we can start again tomorrow when we gotten some rest.”

The wild look in Ed’s face slackens, and Jim pulls his hand away.

“Tomorrow?”

“We can try looking for your knife then, but only when we have the energy to do it. Okay?”

After a moment of silent consideration, Ed gives a tight nod in affirmation. He turns away, curled up against the floor. With a yawn, Jim leans himself against the wall and closes his eyes, allowing his mind to catch up with his body and finally drift off into sleep.

 

\- - - -

 

_Ed manages to break free a few hours later, his wrists raw with rope burn and his skin red and itching. It isn’t so much that he’s learned the technique, just that the ropes had been pulled enough for him to slip his hands through._

_Once they’re out, he falls to the ground as his legs give out beneath him. He lays there on the dirt for some time, too tired to move just yet. His neck falls back comfortably against the dried grass, having been freed from its upright position, and giving him a view of the stars above._

_He wants nothing more than to remove his clothes. His jeans are damp and irritated from when he’d wet himself, and his shirt scratches against his blistering skin. If he were to walk into their home naked, Dad would punish him for such indecency. Then again, if he walked in smelling like piss, there’d be trouble for him anyways._

_Fortunately, he’s met with neither disappointment nor anger when he finally musters the courage to enter the camper. Dad’s passed out in his chair with a bottle in hand and plenty more scattered across the floor._

At least one of us got to spend the day like they wanted _, he thinks, bitterly. His fingers tighten around the blade in his hand, before he sets it down on the table._

_He strips himself of his clothes, climbing into his bunk. The cool sheets offer a little reprieve from the heat, but little is still more than nothing, and his eyes brim with tears of relief._

_If he’s lucky, Dad won’t care to remember any of it by tomorrow. Even if he does, it hardly matters, because tomorrow is Monday. Mondays mean school and school means that he’ll be far away from this place the whole day._

_He squeezes his eyes shut against is pillow, allowing them to soak into the fabric and letting the phosphenes dance across his vision, finally drawing him into sleep, dreaming of better days._

 

 


	4. Keep Your Enemies Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAHH I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to update this, I’ve just had so much schoolwork T____T I have a bit more free time now, so I should be getting back into writing.
> 
> Also, regardless of how s5 went down, I’m keeping to the storyline I had planned initially, so expect a few canon divergences.
> 
> Enjoy

 

 

_ If anyone had asked him (though no one ever would, of course), Ed could pinpoint the exact moment he realized he didn’t have friends. _

_ It wasn’t something he usually thought about. Friendship took time and energy and the drive to make others happy, none of which he had to spare. He was usually too busy reading or practicing with Dad to consider having anyone else take up anymore space in his life. He didn’t need friends, didn’t want them. _

_ At least, he never thought he did. _

_ It was just before his last day of fifth grade, when all the students were gushing over their new yearbooks. He hadn’t gotten one for himself. They were always too expensive, and it wasn’t as if he needed a collection of faces he saw every day taking up space on his bookshelf. _

_ “Psst!” _

_ Ed blinked at the noise, broken from his concentration on the chalkboard. He glanced back around to the girl sitting behind him.  _

_ “Can you sign this?” she squeaked, holding her yearbook out to him with a shaking hand. _

_ It was an odd request, given that they were practically strangers. He couldn’t even place her name (Mabel or something?), despite the fact she’d sat behind him throughout the entire year. _

_ “Why?” _

_ She shrugged, eyes glancing away as her cheeks flushed. “I thought it’d be nice to get everyone in.” _

_ Her voice was quiet and lilted, and Ed wondered if this was some joke that he wasn’t in on, a typical experience when it came to his classmates. Nevertheless, he took the book, making sure Mrs. Macher wasn’t looking. _

_ As soon as he opened the cover, his eyes were bombarded with a mess of scribbled color. Thumbing through the autograph pages, it looked as though the girl had indeed gotten everyone in the class to sign. Most of what was written were short blurbs; ‘ _ never change _ ’, ‘ _ have a good summer _ ’. Some of them, on the other hand were long and detailed, reminiscing over shared experiences. _

_ The longer Ed stared at the marked up pages, the farther away he fell from the class, Macher’s lecture a distant noise in the background. These were stories he’d never experienced, people he didn’t know, even when he saw them every day. What could he possibly write here? He didn’t know this girl, he didn’t have anything to say to her. The more he read over the messages in her book, the more he learned just how little he knew his classmate. _

_ It was then that he realized that there was nothing for her to say to him either. She didn’t know him, none of them did. No one else had ever given their yearbooks to him before, not even for a quick sign off. There was nothing for them to remember him by, and nothing for him to be remembered by. _

_ “Give it here.” _

_ His head snapped up at the voice, meeting Mrs. Macher’s glare. _

_ “It isn’t mine,” he said, but she merely raised a brow. _

_ “Shall I add stealing to your list of offenses Mr. Nashton?” _

_ “No mam,” he muttered, hanging his head. His cheeks heated up in embarrassment as he handed the book over to her. _

_ “You can pick it up at the end of the day,” she said, giving the girl behind him a look. Ed could barely hear the mumbled ‘yes mam’ over the snickers of the other kids around him, whispered words he never wanted to hear about him ever again.  _

_ If that girl ever got her book back, he never saw it. Once the final bell rang, he headed straight home, unwilling to face the other students. It was silly, he would realize late, given that they didn’t care enough to go after him, but he couldn’t take his chances. _

_ The pangs of regret only hit him once he was home. This was not how he wanted to be remembered, not as some friendless loser who no one could name, but he knew it was already too late. By next year, all of those kids would be gone from his life forever, and him from there’s. _

He was fine with that _ , he told himself that night.  _ He didn’t need to be part of their lives. He was fine being nothing more than a passing memory.

_ Even when he whispered those words to himself, curled up in his cot with the pillow hiding his miry eyes, he couldn’t shake the dread that pooled in his gut. _

_ Because knew Ed wouldn’t be a passing memory to any of those kids. _

_ Ed would be forgotten. _

 

\- - - -

 

When Jim opens his eyes again, his ankle is killing him. He moves his head up from his shoulder, cringing at the twinge in his neck and pushes his back straight against the wall. He pulls up the leg of his slacks, the skin above his foot swollen and purple. 

_ It must have happened when Ed fell _ , he thinks. Typical of him to makes things even more difficult for the both of them.

The man himself is sitting next to him, hands intertwined beneath his chin as he stares back at the ladder in thought. His face is calmer than it was the day before, like his entire outburst had all but disappeared.

“I’ve been thinking about my knife-”

“Oh God,” Jim groans, rubbing his eyes. It’s too early for this, or feels like it at least.

“Shut up and listen,” Ed snaps back. “The distance between the bottom of that ladder and that shaft is too big for a knife as heavy as mine to have bounced across. There’s no way it could have fallen down to the next floor.”

“Okay, so what happened to it then?”

Ed stands, pacing between the two tunnels as he organizes his thoughts. He stops beneath the tunnel, the chain pulling lightly at Jim’s ankle.

“There are two possibilities,” he finally says. “The first is that someone took it, meaning that we’re being followed as we go.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. This place is too quiet, we would have heard them by now.”

“I’ve thought so as well. That only leaves the second option.” He pauses beneath the ladder leading up to the next level, looking into the darkness overhead. “It’s still somewhere in this tunnel.”

“So what, it’s stuck in the wall or something?”

“Perhaps,” Ed says, his usual intrigue returning to his voice. “There’s only one way to find out.”

Jim groans as his moves to stand, carefully minding the pain in his ankle. He expects Ed to comment on it, perhaps roll his eyes, but the man is uncharacteristically quiet today. To his surprise, Ed also stands aside once he’s hobbled over to the ladder, allowing him a head start.

The climb up is slow and painful, but thankfully devoid of any snarky jibes from Ed. They’re both too preoccupied with the task at hand, feeling against the curves of the wall for anything that might be the knife. They’ve made it halfway through the darkness before Jim finds something, or rather, finds nothing where something should be. What should be smooth concrete is empty space filled with the same, stale air as the rest of the tunnel.

“Wait.”

The tunnel goes silent as Ed comes to an obedient halt. Jim reaches his arm out into the void, letting it swing around until, suddenly, he finds the flat surface of a ledge. He climbs a few pegs up before pushing himself away from the ladder and onto the platform, grunting as his hands and knees land against cold stone.

“Jim?”

“There’s something here,” he calls down.

As he feels around in the dark, he realizes it isn’t a simple ridge against the wall, but another tunnel leading somewhere new. He crawls around the space as he waits for Ed to follow, when something flat and cold presses against his hand. His fingers carefully trail over the object as they feel the sharp edge of a blade.

Once he hears Ed falling to the ledge and following after him, Jim reaches out into the dark and finds his arm. Ed freezes at the contact.

“What are you doing?”

He moves down the arm to Ed’s hand, placing the knife’s handle into his palm. “I believe this is yours.”

Ed is still for a moment, before pulling the knife away. Though he can’t see it, the faint sigh in Ed’s breath is enough for Jim to hear the appreciative smile on his face.

They start the slow crawl through the tunnel, met with the same stifling darkness as before, but it isn’t long before they find a familiar glow at the end. The tunnel has led them to the ledge of yet another ladder, though this one stretches up taller than the one before it.

“What is this?” Jim thinks aloud. He looks to Ed, his face barely illuminated in the dim light. Even so, Jim can see that familiar spark firing up in his eyes.

“ _ This _ is our puzzle,” he answers. “We never needed to reach the rooms, they were only a distraction from the real path. It’s the tunnels connecting to one another we were meant to follow, not the ladders. All that time and energy wasted for nothing.”

“Well, it seems we’re on the right track now,” Jim says, grabbing onto the ladder’s metal bars. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

\- - - -

 

The second mistake Jim made was taking up Ed’s offer for a double date.

In his defense, he hadn’t wanted to do it. He hadn’t wanted there to be any romance happening in the station, for that matter. When Lee took the job as the new medical examiner, he tried his best to keep their relationship discreet and professional, despite her efforts to have it otherwise.

He’d been worried at first, when he realized that she would be working directly with Ed. Lee was the type of person to make friends with anyone, regardless of their oddities. She and Ed were sure to talk, and it wouldn’t take long before she knew all about what had happened between them. He considered telling her on more than one occasion, hoping at the very least she wouldn’t have to hear it from Ed first. Even though he and Ed were on speaking terms once again, there was no telling what he would say about it, or what Lee would think of him afterwards.

Yet time passed by, and not once did she ever mention it to him. She and Ed had become friends, as he’d suspected, but it seemed that Jim’s involvement in his life had never been brought to the conversation. He supposed that Ed had moved on from whatever it was they’d had, or perhaps he simply wanted to avoid the awkwardness just as Jim did. Regardless, he was thankful for his discretion, even if he never got the chance to say it.

Even so, Jim didn’t miss the way Ed always watched him and Lee whenever they were all together, something that happened quite frequently. When Jim took a trip to the lab to see her, Ed was always working on something in the background. If Lee came to chat with him in the breakroom, Ed would not be far behind, staring at them all the while. There was never any malice in it, just the usual quirks everyone at the GCPD was accustomed to by now. Perhaps he was bold to assume there would be any jealousy from Ed, but his presence was unnerving nonetheless.

However, his worries soon washed away when Lee informed him that Ed and Kringle had officially started dating, though it was short lived. By the time Barnes had taken up captaincy, it became clear as day that Lee and himself were an item, something that could no longer be ignored. So perhaps he shouldn’t have been so surprised when Ed came to them with his offer.

“As you may have heard, I've recently been seeing Miss Kringle-Kristen,” Ed chuckled as he corrected himself. “...and she mentioned that it might be nice to go out with other people along. So, I thought, perhaps, the two of you would enjoy joining us for dinner tonight.”

Jim gave him a awkward smile. He’d been hoping that Ed would have distracted himself with his new relationship, not use it as an excuse to spend more time with them. If things continued any further, there was no telling what would come up. This wouldn’t do.

“We can’t-”

“We’d love to,” Lee said, Jim turning to her in shock. She looked back at him, eyes hard. This wasn’t something he could back down from.

“Sure. Yeah, yeah, no...Great.”

Ed smiled with excitement, and Jim sighed to himself. A simple dinner couldn’t be too bad. They’d find a nice restaurant, finish their meal, and then him and Lee would be back home alone. Easy.   


“As a matter of fact, I just bought some new fondue pots,” Lee said. “Why don't we do it at my house?”

Treason. Complete and utter mutiny.

“Excellent, excellent. I'll go tell Kristen.”

Once Ed had disappeared again, Jim gave Lee a cold stare.

“I know, I know, but it was the decent thing to do.”   


“Fondue?”

“Have you ever tried it? It's delicious.”  


“It's at your place. We can't leave, we're already home, we’re...trapped.”

She placed her hands gently against his face. “Don't be mean. We'll make it fun.” She gave him an assuring smile, one that he could not match.

At that moment, he wanted to tell her it was a terrible idea, but how could he have explained himself? How could he have told her that he would be sitting across from the last person he’d hurt, how could he have tried to justify what he’d done that night to cause that pain? He couldn’t. Not now, anyways, not here.

“Yes, ma'am.”

  
  
  


He got the better half of the day to keep the dinner from his mind, focusing his attentions on Galavan and the new fire-bug running around town. It came a pleasant reprieve, but also meant he had nothing to prepare himself with when he finally arrived at Lee’s place that evening.

“There he is,” Ed said as he walked through the door. His face was glowing with happiness, but it certainly wasn’t Jim that brought it there. The gleeful aura was matched in full by Kristen, who greeted him as well.   


“Sorry I'm late,” Jim said, shucking off his jacket. Lee moved from her seat, handing him a wine glass. “Really sorry,” he said again, keeping his voice low. “Long story. I hope it hasn't been going too bad.”  


“You know, it's the weirdest thing, but Nygma's actually maintaining this strange sort of cool.”   


“No?” 

“Seriously.” 

He looked back over to the table, watching as Ed used the fondue fork to drop a cheese-coated meatball into Kringle’s mouth. They both giggled.

“There's a lid for every pot,” Lee said, and Jim nodded in agreement.   


“Pardon me,” Ed said as they took their seats. “Since Detective Gordon is here, I'd like to propose a toast.”

They all held their glasses, as Ed addressed Jim with a smile.    


“The less you have, the more they're worth. To friends.”

As their glasses clinked, Jim couldn’t help but smile back. “Hear, hear.”

  
  
  


To Jim’s surprise, the couple seemed just as compatible as Lee had said. Ed was practically beaming in Kristen’s presence, and she was much the same. He’d only seen her in passing on rare occasion, but she’d always seemed stiff and reserved. Tonight she was as animated as Ed, the two a perfect picture of new love.

Once they’d finished their dinner, Lee and Kristen moved themselves to the couch. Jim followed Ed to the kitchen to help him fix the desert, some recipe Ed had started before they came.

“Hey.” He pulled Ed in a bit closer, keeping his voice low. “I’ve actually wanted to thank you for a while now. I appreciate you keeping things quiet about us.”

Ed gave him a look. “I’m not too sure what you mean.”

“You know, not telling Lee about everything that happened between us.”

“No, I don’t know actually. Was I supposed to be keeping it secret?”

“Yes- er, no, not necessarily, but I’m glad you haven’t brought it up with her. Also, I know that things have been a bit awkward between us with everything that’s happened. I’m glad you’ve been able to come back around.”

Ed smiled, giving him a soft pat on the shoulder. “Detective, whatever it is you’re worried about, I can assure you it’s all water under the bridge.“

Jim sighed, that last bit of fear that had weighed down on his mind finally free. He relaxed against the counter, watching Ed plating the dessert.

“So, how have things been with Kristen?”

Ed hummed giddily. “Amazing, fantastic, better than I could have hoped for,” he chuckled giving Kringle a loving glance.

“I’ve never seen her this happy before. You two must have something special.”

“Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I’d say I’ve done pretty good on my end. Then again, she’s never had the full ‘boyfriend experience’, as she calls it, so anything I do is more than she’s used to.”

“I remember some of the guys she was dating. She was going pretty steady with that officer just a few months ago, wasn’t she?”

At the mention of Dougherty, Ed shifted uncomfortably. “Yes, um, they were together for a while, but he ended it before he left. It was pretty sudden.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet. I can imagine she was pretty rattled by it.”

Ed snorted. “Well, he wasn’t exactly a knight in shining armor. Good for a quick fling, but nothing serious.”

“But she  _ was _ upset about it?”

“...Yes, a bit.”

Jim couldn’t help but ask more, detective’s curiosity piqued. “How long was it after the breakup that you two got together?”

Ed swallowed. “A couple of weeks.”

“So not that long after.”

“I suppose not.” His voice was cold and defensive, and his hands had stopped right in the middle of his work. Something was off, Jim could feel it, but he didn’t want to believe what his instincts were screaming at him.

Lee had told him about the rumors floating throughout the station regarding Ed’s attempts at wooing her, how he’d suddenly found success after a long streak of failure. It made him think back to that morning at Ed’s place, when he’d suggested her to him. At the time, Ed had made it seem like a hopeless endeavour, but something had certainly changed. Could he really have taken advantage of Dougherty’s absence to get to her? Perhaps that lid wasn’t as tight as he’d initially thought, but Ed wouldn’t manipulate the poor girl like that, not knowingly at least.

...Would he?

“I feel like I remember you telling me once that you didn’t think she liked you. Did she change her mind before or after Dougherty left?”

“Gosh detective,” Ed chuckled nervously. “I never knew you were this interested in my love life.”

He backed off a bit. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be this nosey. I just want to make sure that everyone’s in this for the right reasons. I don’t want there being any bad blood because someone feels like they’re being used.”

For the millionth time in his life, Jim wished he could have thought out his words just a second longer before speaking.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Forget it, I misspoke.”

“Who’s being used?”

Jim sighed. “No one is being used. I didn’t mean that,” he insisted, but he knew it was already too late as Ed’s wide eyes stared into his. 

“You think Kristen’s using me? Th-that, what, I’m just some kind of placeholder for Dougherty until he comes back to her?”

The question caught him off guard. “That’s not what I was saying at all.”

“Well he’s not coming back, ever. A-and even if he was, she wouldn’t go to him. He was-is...he hurt her. He’s a  _ monster _ , Jim. I’m not like him, I would never do the things he did to her-”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Jim said, clamping his hand onto Ed’s shoulder. He took a quick glance back to the living room, relieved that the two women hadn’t seemed to notice them. “I know you’re a better person than he was, I wasn’t doubting that.” 

Although Ed’s breathing stilled, that gleam of suspicion was still there in his eyes. Shame and embarrassment bubbled inside him as he realized what he had done. This wasn’t about him, it never was, and it was stupid of him to think otherwise.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I was seeing things that weren’t there.”

“You don’t think...that Kristen is lying about this, about liking me?”

“No, I don’t. I was...well it doesn’t matter what I was thinking. She seems happy, the both of you do. There’s no harm in the two of you being happy.”

“...No, there isn’t,” Ed agreed quietly. “What Kristen and I have is beautiful. Dougherty can’t ruin that.”

“No he can’t, and you shouldn’t let him or anything I say make you think otherwise.”

Ed stared at him, quiet and pensive. After a moment, he gave him a faint smile.

“Thank you,” he said with a cold voice, before placing the desserts on the serving tray. It was that voice Jim heard before, right before a door was slammed in his face. It didn’t leave him with a whole lot of hope.

Once they’d finished dessert, Ed and Kristen took their leave. As they said their goodbyes, Jim could see the way Ed looked at her beneath the hallway lights, absent of that loving glow he’d seen earlier in the evening. There was still adoration, of course, but mixed between was that small seed of doubt that tangled it’s roots into Ed’s mind, sprouting weeds of paranoia that grew and grew until they would choke out everything else. 

Sure enough, it was only a few days later that Lee told him of the breakup. Ed and Kristen had fought, and she’d run off to find Dougherty.

Jim sought him out soon after he’d heard the news. Perhaps he shouldn’t have, he’d made a huge mess out of this already, but he couldn’t help but blame himself. That small part of his soul that needed to see things set to right gave him no choice.

“I heard about you and Kringle,” he said once he’d found him in the lab. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”

To his surprise, Ed seemed nothing less than content. “Yes, it was quite disappointing, but there’s nothing I could do to stop her. Sometimes it’s best to leave the past where it belongs.”

“...Yeah.” He wonders for a moment if this is how Ed was after they had ended things, calm and distant. “That offer to talk is still on the table. I’ve got some free time today if you’re interested.”

“I appreciate it, Detective,” he said with a small smile. “...but I already have plans for the weekend. I’m taking a trip out of town for a few days, y’know, to clear my head.”

Jim nodded. He seemed to be handling the loss better than last time at least. “Sounds like a good idea. Hey, when you get back, let me take you out for a drink. Nothing soothes a broken heart better than a good-old-fashioned bitch session.”

Ed gave a light chuckle. “We could do that,” he said, taking a few steps closer. “Or if you’d prefer, I could fix us up a nice dinner like I used to.”

The pity that had brought him down to the lab began to fizzle away as the hastening pulse of his heart warmed his skin. It was then that Jim realized that Ed was standing a bit too close for his comfort, the steady gaze of his eyes burning into him.

“You remember that, don’t you, when it was just the two of us?”

He resisted that urge to flinch, despite every fiber of his being telling him to get away. “Yeah, I do.”

That smile stretched wider on Ed’s cheeks, his eyes dark and mischievous. “You had me worried. I thought with everything going on with you and Lee, perhaps you wouldn’t have any room left to think of anyone else. It’s good to see some things haven’t changed.”

It was then, as Jim realized the ever decreasing distance between them, that he feared that Ed might try to kiss him. It was a silly thing for him to be afraid of, he could easily push him away if it came to that. Then again, Jim could have pushed him away that night as well, could have prevented a lot of this, and he didn’t.

No one else would know, but he would always remember.

…

Ed didn’t kiss him. Instead, he walked right past Jim and out of the lab.

“See you around, detective.”

Jim waited until the footsteps faded away, too shocked to move from his spot. Ed didn’t  _ flirt _ , didn’t know how, but he couldn’t have mistaken what had just transpired before his own two eyes. The guilt he’d been feeling drained away as dread pooled in his gut, every fear he’d believed to be gone immediately resurfacing.

As he made his way back to his desk, he couldn’t help but wonder what else Ed could do that he didn’t know about.

 

\- - - -

 

“Have you found another path yet?” Ed pants from below.

“No,” Jim replies. “Only the one we came from.”

They’ve passed through six levels now, each tunnel weaving them between the floors with ease. This last tunnel, however, has led them to a dead end, with only a long, final ladder leading to another room.

“I suppose it’s time we got out of this place,” he says, starting his way up, and Ed follows suit.

This time, the room they find is devoid of any other ladders. Instead, they face a set of hallways on opposite sides of the room, each leading into what is likely another maze.

Jim sighs, partially in relief, but more so in exhaustion as his body gives out on him. As soon as he’s made it onto the level, he collapses to the floor, catching his breath as Ed climbs out after him. His ankle thrums with each pulse of his heart, nearly overpowering the pain in his sore muscles and aching joints.

There’s a moment of quiet, as the two of them lay there on the floor, when Jim realizes it isn’t over. Two days they’ve been here, at least, and only two puzzles were completed. He’d managed to evade Joker’s traps many times in the past, but this was a whole new level on convoluted, one he couldn’t say for sure he could last through.

“Do you remember when we used to get along?”

Jim turns his head, glancing at Ed with confusion, and is met with tired, distant eyes.

“Do you remember that night, when Kristen and I had dinner with you and Lee?”

The last the two of them had been actual friends, the last chance they had at making everything right.

“I try not to.”

“But you do remember it,” Ed smiles. “I never thanked you for that night. You really helped me put everything into perspective.”

“What the hell are you doing?” Jim sneers. “Don’t you fucking try to blame me for Kringle, Nygma, not after everything you’ve done.”

“Whether you like where it took me or not, I never would have gotten there without you.”

“You’re so sure about that, are you? Is that how you sleep at night, pretending like I’m the root of everything bad that’s happened to you?”

“Not just bad things. When I asked you that night if you thought Kristen was trying to replace me, you lied and said no. I’ll admit it, it worked. I truly believed you, up until the moment she revealed how she truly felt. Then yesterday, again, you brought me back from a darker place. Even with your worst of enemies, you can’t stop yourself from being a true friend.”

“We’re not friends, Ed,” Jim sighs, jangling the the chain. “And it’s not like I have much of a choice helping you, do I?”

Ed shrugs. “Think of it as a courtesy then. After all, between the falling and bruising you’ve taken, I’d say I have the better chance of making it out of this thing alive. I figured you’d like it better if you died knowing you were only half an ass.”

“Ah, just what I needed, vindication from a deranged murderer. Death is sure to come painlessly now.”

“Fine, you can die as a complete ass, I don’t care,” Ed huffs. “But I don’t want to hear any whining about anyone being ungrateful around here.” 

“You call  _ that _ gratitude?”

The clicking of metal suddenly echoes against the stone walls, bringing them both to full alert. A rush of adrenaline pushes Jim to his feet, whipping out his gun as he watches the path ahead of them. Ed too pulls out his knife, standing steady against whatever is waiting for them. There’s soft scraping of shoes against the pavement as someone readies themselves behind the wall.

“We know you’re there,” Jim calls out. “So you’d best get this over with before I come over there and deal with you myself.”

It isn’t long before their hidden companion reveals themself, wide eyes peering around the corner.

“Jim?”

At the familiar voice, Jim lowers his gun in shock and relief. For the first time since he’s been down here, genuine hope strikes him.

“Harper.”

 

 


End file.
